Tuesday, March 24, 2009

I know everything's going to be okay. I saw it in a day dream.

Floating around, spring sprung faster and brighter. The smell is thumping us really hard and I wouldn't have it any other way. I could never have found myself sooner or quite the same if cold had left sooner. Every thing seems well rounded and lighter. Even if we were formed in two diffrent places, no two living souls were meant to wallow in one another then the two that are present right now. We have fallen far from a tree, and the tree has many splinters and its old and many birds have nested there. I know that the further you fall, and the longer you fall, your bound to make your own tree and we can rise richer and stronger than the last. We are going to see many skies turn purple and struggle with where we want to go. This is all the process of finding out who will stand in the end, and we can root ourselves deep like in letters written. We know what we have and nothing more can stabilize us because we are so in touch with every thing. I'm not scared of the struggle or how its going to make my heart weak at times. I'm not scared of any of that. Just treading alone is the thing that frightens me the most.

Some thing stolen.

The spring winds come to blow the left over leaves that fall had previously left.

There seems to be less of muse, I wanted to be the muse, tied up on strings, dangling in all my glory. I felt my flesh crawl, and my heart beat harder as I walked alone. I felt the ground linger around my feet, weeping because I couldnt move on it like it wanted. I couldnt feel it like I could before, and it was so cold, harsh, and blew me away and all I did was run. The concept of running never crossed my mind. I grew up crooked and always in and out love. Blinded because some times spit burns.

I built up to this, everything i planned out went accordingly and shocked me. Maybe this is a storm that passes over fast. And my feelings are some thing of folk lore. Even the sun cant press its cheeks against mine. I'm on fire, dipping out of sleep and have the most horrible ideas piercing my sides. The most tender parts.

Tomorrow lands a new mission. Struggling with myself, and wrestling with some future I cant grasp fully. Im going to watch the season grow tired. I'm going to lay in the damp grass and close my eyes to die with the stars.

Friday, March 20, 2009

It feels ferverish

I'm gonna take this under my wing, cause ever since i could remember this certain wind has been pushing me hard. The desert has become dryer longer now. We fill voids with what ever is seasonable. Some day soon though, the love around the two of them is going to sink under the skin and soak up the bones, and muscle. I'm become more brawnier than ever before. This is what I needed for myself. Feathers wrapping around myself. They are soft to say the least, but the colors are sight to be reckoned with.

Coughing harder today. Letting threads, shards of glass, and other dreadful things become stuck in my throat. I couldnt imagine tomorrow, or the day after. Weeks have passed faster than I can reach for the stars and claim them my own. I'm gonna keep loving for ever I promise. I'm never gonna fade, specially not out of our hearts.

Wednesday, March 18, 2009

High

Only hide the star burst in your eyes, and when its pitch black, and alone, suddenly realize that maybe once in this life your never going to be alone. The world that surrounds you is just bigger than you imagined, and maybe this is scary, or just not what the plan was.... but know that if living this by plan bring a sore stomach then do any thing to make this pain go away. The one you fall asleep with may subtract what feels right, and the one a couple months ago felt more right than no. The gut feeling is over the feeling we give in to, better or not, we really can always run.

Deep down though, love can be felt. Some may not know where to put it, or how to use, because its only happend once before or never. Its going to be only time though, this only happens once. We cant for give any longer, and we cant live some thing that doesn't blossom every day. What we can do is follow what ever feels right. We can keep open hearts and let our selves flow out and smell the sweet summer air. Alone or not.

Tuesday, March 17, 2009

One moment, I need to catch my breath.

Today I woke up, and today I felt like a revenant. Cold fingers and a cold heart, because last night under myself I imagined some one worrying over nothing at all, I wasn't even dying, just falling and peering over you in to the vast state of detachment. Every one of my friends know the trepidation I endure to breath, taking in only what's good, taking in only the past, taking in only what any one else wants to see in them selves.

When I woke up today I wanted to play on hope, because it's all I have, and what I learned to live for. You are diluted, gracefully walking around the idea of how you really are. I can see the demure representation you exude and give off, only to others. You can be free, nothing is wrong with a little slash in the neck.

Do you remember that one time I begged for forgiveness from myself? It was the time I hadnt given up on planting the perfect garden, also the same moment when my chest caved in and suddenly I made you feel impotent. Going in to this, more that diving, I said, well she said, that you can never rely on him to give you what you want. Then she implied that the one I love is senseless and I told her "How could some one so senseless crave the flesh of another, even if I made him up in my head?" She screamed and died.

Give it up my man, we can't lay together for ever. Because this is in vain, a lie in itself, the two of them fall at the hands of [god] but I won't ever say a word. Later that day I walked in the tall grass and lost where i was or had been. All I know know is what is, and as far as that goes is way deep down, in to the blood that flows through each one of you. Don't give anything you have to me. Don't even show me the world.

Shaper than him.

Never any thing said, was what i wanted to hear, even the other day
the sky looked the same. The day after a sudden spurt of locust
swarmed over head, a sign that he had his eyes had been wandering
and maybe you should had stayed there. The place lit up. Its most
captivating and I feel myself loosing the battle.

I'm gonna dance really hard on your chest, to see if you alive,
so you can feel me on top of your hard self. Crush the breast bone.
Steal your still pumping heart and tell it to fucking
breathe once in a while, it gets the blood flowing again. It just
dosnt want to spend its whole life alone.

You see I'm becoming caught up in a web
full of half told stories. They pile up in stacks
higher that my head in the clouds. I wonder
all day if this is where I'm bound to be forever.
What if one day i wake up and scream and jump out
of my skin... Most literally.

I'm gonna walk each day though with a careful step. The clouds
are far to white to ignore, and the air sweeter than the day before.
Even if we both fall apart in front of one another, at least
we had the chance of multiplying for one last time.

Friday, March 13, 2009

Lets catch the webs with babys wishes. Turn the soil AND SEIZE THIS DAY. Gasping for air, they cant hold on any longer. Scraping nails, to walls, chipping eyes falling to the ground. What a bloody mess, spilled hearts and terrified expressions. Their going to be sleeping alone tonight. If any one touches they turn in to flames and become the center of the world.

Thursday, March 12, 2009

The Welcoming of The Sun

Lets torture tonight and laugh as loud and we can scream.
We can bring these lights brighter,
help them in, the ones we seek at night.
When we can finally fall asleep, because heaven knows
its too cold here to sleep, and far too loud.
We move irregularly, and we wake ourselves
in a frantic sweat. I tell you I see them
playing in the shadows, some them even
haunt you but your far to strong, and well built
to even notice that every day I'm dying.
I'm not normal, and I'm not whats written about me.
This time the roles have been carved
in to my chest.
Let's vanish and for get the small parts of me,
between my trunks, and below the belly of the beast.